The Spinning Wheel of Fate
by Manoftyr
Summary: This is a FFVI fanfic that's been several years in the making. It's in fact a re-write of a fic I did close to a decade ago. It takes place immediately after the fall of Kefka's tower and largely concerns the Returners and the process of finding their place in this new world as well as expound on the already given lore of the world. Hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 (Prologue)

_I'm alive?_ I thought to myself. I had leaped to my death, crashing through rock, earth, steel, and other more unnatural elements that had composed the dreaded tower. My body was battered and broken. I couldn't move, couldn't speak, but I still lived. In spite of myself I still lived; well, for now at least. I could feel the blood pouring from my many wounds, and my internal organs were a mess. I was hoping the fall would kill me quickly, but it seemed that wouldn't be my fate. Whatever. A slow and painful death was more in keeping with what I deserved. I closed my eyes and relaxed, waiting for the inevitable when suddenly I heard it.

"BARK BARK." That distinct sharp canine barking could only mean one thing; Interceptor. _Stupid dog_ I thought to myself as he continued barking, and now pawing at the rubble covering me.

"I'm telling you! I saw him jump!" I now heard voices closing in.

"Then he's dead!"

"We have to be sure. Keep looking!"

"BARK BARK BARK BARK!" Interceptor was more frantic now, as if trying to alert them. I heard footsteps approach closer.

"Look! Interceptor's got something! Help me dig through this." _Damn stupid dog, _I thought once more.

I heard rustling and digging, the movement of metal plates, the shifting of rock above my form...then a pink clawed hand reached in and pulled up the largest rock resting upon me. Terra Branford. It seemed even with magic currently leaving the world that there was still some esper juice left in her, tough girl.

Her eyes lit up. "He's here! HE'S HERE!" she called out as others rushed over, the first being Sabin Figaro who immediately began helping Terra pull out the rubble above me. Next was Locke Cole, who began clearing the debris surrounding my body. The others followed in time. Soon enough everyone was digging me out.

_ Why won't these people just let me die? Can't they see that's what I want? _

As space was cleared, Terra inched her way through sideways and reached her arm out to grab hold of me. "I've got you," she said in a soft, motherly tone as she dragged me out of my makeshift tomb.

"Oh shit! He's in bad shape," Sabin said aloud as Terra pulled me out to fully support my battered form. As she held me, I felt her furred and tightly muscled form change back into her somewhat softer her human form; apparently that was the last of the esper in her.

"It's gone," Terra sighed as she laid me out on the ground.

Interceptor was immediately at my side and Sabin sat cross legged beside me. "I can keep him alive, but he's too hurt for Mantra to do anything permanent. He needs a doc!"

"Bleurghk!" I coughed up a healthy glob of blood.

"OH SHIT!" Sabin exclaimed. "He's worse than I thought!" he continued as I felt myself blacking out. "Stay with us buddy..." Those were the last words I heard before the blackness took me.

…

I was in her arms again and the world felt perfect. The lavender scent. That was always her smell; lavenders. I held her and laughed with her, spun with her over my head. Behind me were the days of Clyde the Train Bandit. I would spend the rest of my life here with her and we'd have a family, a little girl and a dog and...

"She's dead Clyde." The scene had changed. Now came the glare of hate in the old man's eyes. In his arms he carried the newborn girl protectively. The still-warm corpse rested lifelessly on the bed.

"I did all I could." The aging midwife's platitudes did nothing to heal my shattered heart. "You should hold your daughter," she recommended.

With trepidation I approached the old man. Trembling, I held out my arms to take her. Begrudgingly, he handed the baby girl forward and I accepted her into my arms. But as I looked down at the bundle I saw she had a fully developed face and head. "You killed her," I said accusingly at the baby in my arms.

"No, _you_ killed her," the infant girl with the head of an eleven year old replied.

"That-that's not true!" I shouted in anger and fear. The fear inside was merely a reflection of what I already knew as truth but loathed to accept; she was right, I did kill her. The baby in my arms cackled madly then turned to bone. In shock I dropped her. The dry, dead bones broke apart and scattered across the earth beneath my feet.

The scene had changed once again. Before me stood the mound and gravestone. Rain poured from above and a flash of lightning illuminated the text of the stone.

_Here lies Gabrielle Magus._

Beside the stone stood the old man, shovel in hand, that same accusatory glare on his face. "I'll never forgive you Clyde," he rasped.

I fell to my knees. "Please...I'm sorry..."

Suddenly, a bony yet feminine hand poked out from the earth to grip my wrist. Gabrielle rose from the dirt, reeking of putrid lavender. "You promised me we'd always be together," she gurgled. I tried to scream but I couldn't and...I was awake. The dream was over.

My eyes slowly opened as I was in the waking world once more. "I think he's coming to!" I heard Sabin's voice call aloud. I tried to move but the pain froze me.

"Easy there!" said another voice. "Don't try and move around so much."

My vision was hazy at first, but as it cleared I could make out a dirty yellow lab coat and a mustached face. "You're lucky they brought you here so quickly. Had they dallied a moment, you'd be lost to us," Cid explained. "Most of my medical work has been in the more experimental fields. It's been awhile since I've patched anyone up." Cid gave a soft chuckle. "I' m less rusty than I thought, to be perfectly honest."

I looked around the small room. Terra, Celes, Locke, Cyan, and Sabin were present, with the rest presumably waiting outside. I wasn't quite sure where this was exactly, but I could ascertain from my surroundings that I was in the downstairs of a small house. "I'll go inform the others of your progress. They should be quite relieved. We thought we were going to lose you there for a few tense hours."

As Cid left Terra's eyes followed him. "We could have brought him to someone else," she mused aloud once he was out of earshot.

"He was the only doc we knew for sure we'd find. This was the best bet," Locke reasoned, his tone implying he was attempting to reassure Terra or ease a tense situation.

"I don't trust him. He's a butcher." Terra was unconvinced.

"Don't you talk about my Grandad like that!" Celes snapped at her.

Terra remained seated but gave Celes an incredulous glance. "You don't know the things I remember him doing to my father and his friends, all to power those horrible sets of armor and to make that stupid crown."

"He was following orders! He didn't have a choice!" Celes shouted while returning Terra's glance with a hard stare, smacking the back of her left hand into her right palm twice to emphasize her points.

"Aye," Cyan voiced in apparent agreement "akin to how you also had little choice when your superiors ordered your setting Maranda ablaze." His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"We didn't come all this way to reopen old wounds," Sabin said aloud, standing up to ensure all eyes were on him. "Regardless of their past actions, both Celes and Cid saw the empire for what it was in the end, and besides; none of this even matters anymore!" he exclaimed passionately, indicating towards Celes and the door through which Cid departed earlier with wide, sweeping gestures as he named them. "The empire is dead and buried. We have bigger concerns ahead of us." Sabin concluded with a fold of his arms and returned to his seat.

Cyan looked somewhat embarrassed and glanced off to the side at Sabin's words. "Forgive me Lady Celes. I...misspoke," he offered an apology.

"It's fine," Celes replied. Terra however remained quiet.

Locke gazed hopefully at Terra, who gazed back at him and sighed before turning to the reformed magitek knight. "I apologize if I hurt your feelings Celes, but I won't take back my words against Cid." She paused. "But he did a good job patching Shadow up."

Celes snorted a little. "Whatever." She dismissed Terra's words. There was an uncomfortable silence that loomed for a few moments before Cid returned. Then something which should have been obvious dawned on me; I was no longer in my shōzoku or mask/hood and ninja garbs; they must have taken it off before they bandaged me up. Somehow this realization made me feel nude and vulnerable.

"Well, there's not much more I can do. You're just gonna need time to heal up somewhere." Cid began. "Setzer said giving you an airlift to the hospital is no trouble. We just gotta get you onto one of the beds, then he'll fly it slow and low so he doesn't jostle you." Cid laughed. "Man, you've got a lot of broken bones, and damn near everything on the inside is bruised up-"

"What were you thinking jumping like that?!" Terra suddenly burst out, interrupting. Her piercing green eyes glared right into my own. I remained silent. "Answer me!" she demanded, very much unlike her; in fact this was the only time I'd ever seen Terra truly angry. Her gaze was fixed and focused, unmoving, her eyes practically spoke: _how dare you_.

After a pause, I relented. "What do you think?" My voice was cold and devoid of inflexion. "The same reason I told you all to go on without me on the floating continent, the same reason you found me near death in a cave on the Veldt, the same reason you found me throwing myself at all challengers back at the arena. Because I wanted to die. But all of you refuse to let me. You stayed behind for me on the continent, you dragged me to safety from that cave, you convinced me to join you and take down Kefka, and now yet again you've all interceded on my behalf; quite unwelcome I might add." I turned my head away and looked off to the side. "You should've all fucked off and let me die the first time."

There was silence for a few moments after my words, but the kind of silence that typically conceals a pot that's just about ready to boil over. "You selfish bastard," I heard Terra utter, almost choking. "YOU SELFISH BASTARD!" she practically screeched, repeating herself as I kept my head turned, though I heard her leap to her feet. "Don't you DARE look away from me!" she shouted while quickly walking around me to the other side of the bed to maintain my eye contact. Those piercing green eyes glared right through me. Locke and Celes were seated behind where Terra now stood, their expressions quite shocked. I assumed Sabin and Cyan were likewise as such an outburst was very much unlike Terra.

"Or what?" I challenged. "Do whatever you want. I don't care."

Terra's expression was fixed into a scowl, but at the same time I saw tears beginning to well up under her eyes. "I waited for you on that continent!" She shouted at me. Now I could see the streams running down her cheeks. "Setzer and everyone on the airship were motioning us over to jump and I refused." Terra ended that statement with a sharp horizontal cutting of the air with her arm. "I refused because I knew what you told me on that boat was a lie." She pointed at me, her finger directly in my face. "You haven't killed your emotions." Her tone was accusatory "Someone who has wouldn't have done something so noble-"

"Shut up!" I interrupted.

That seemed to raise Locke's ire. He prepared to stand up but Celes stopped him by putting her arm across his lap. She looked towards him and shook her head, prompting him to settle back into his seat.

I continued my speech regardless. "I never asked for you to give a shit. I never asked for you to wait for me. I never asked you to-"

"THAT'S NOT HOW IT FUCKING WORKS SHADOW!" Terra now interrupted me, screaming and bringing her arms upward and then down again sharply, with her palms open in a clear display of frustration. "Heavens above are you THAT self-centered?!" Terra exclaimed in disbelief, raising her left hand to her temple before shaking her head at me. "You don't get to pick and choose who does and who doesn't care about you-"

"What part of 'shut up' do you not understand?"

"SCREW YOU!" Terra shouted directly in my face, followed by stomping the ground with her foot before storming off, giving the door a loud and clearly audible _SLAM_ on her way out.

Locke scowled at me once Terra was gone. "I knew it was a waste of time dragging your carcass out of the rubble; you're the same ungrateful prick you always were." Locke's tone of voice was saturated with contempt.

"Eat a dick, thief," I rasped.

Locke gave me a hard stare. His scowl intensified and I saw the side of his lip quiver and twitch in building rage. "I'm going to go see if she's okay," he said lowly, almost growling. Locke rose from his seat and exited the door, following Terra upstairs.

. . . . _**Change in character perspective**_ . . . .

"Terra. There you are!" I heard a call from behind. I had pushed past the door and exited onto the beachhead of the Solitary Island to try and calm down. I turned around to see Locke walking towards me. "How're you doing? You okay?" he asked sincerely.

I turned round to face him and sighed gently. "Yeah, I' m okay." I answered. "Just some of what Shadow said got to me, that's all." I smiled "I'll be fine" I assured him.

"Good." Locke affirmed while coolly leaning on his side. A single hand on his hip. "Besides, you shouldn't sweat anything that asshole says. He's garbage." Locke dismissed.

My smile turned to a frown. "I really don't understand how you can say that about someone who, no less than half a day ago, you fought alongside, shoulder to shoulder." I shook my head.

Locke stared back at me with surprise. "You're honestly going to defend him now? After he spoke to you like that?" Locke was incredulous.

"It's not about that." I paused. To be honest, I didn't fully understand myself what my reaction earlier and even my words right now were about, at least not entirely. "That man down there fought with a ferocity and bravery that rivaled any of us up on the Floating Continent. We wouldn't be alive right now if it weren't for him." I completed my thought.

Locke shook his head. "He fought well, yes, and I'll admit he did save our asses back there. _But,_" Locke paused for emphasis. "He didn't fight with 'bravery.' He fought with suicidal abandon. There's a difference. Shadow threw himself at Kefka back there, partially to save our behinds, but _mostly _because he was expecting to die. He _wants_ to die Terra. It's the same reason he jumped before and I say," Locke shrugged "if he wants to die we should let him."

My frown now progressed further into an expression of pure disgust. "How can you even say that?" I asked in disbelief.

"Because men like him are only good at _one_ thing Terra; hurting people." Locke spoke plainly. "With Kefka gone he can do no more potential good for this world. If Shadow were to remain he'd only do harm. The best thing for _everybody_ is if he offs himself."

My expression only intensified as I kinked my head at Locke. "Sometimes I think you're from another planet." I spoke with scorn.

"Dammit Terra!" Locke shouted. "You have to understand what I'm saying!" He slapped his palm with the back of his hand as he completed his sentence. "I've been around and I know what guys like him do, how they think, how they operate; no good can come of him!" Locke was almost pleading with me.

"How do you know?!" I demanded. "You talk like you know everything." I spoke dismissively.

"I know because I've been in this world longer than you have!" Locke shouted back at me. "Terra," Locke closed his eyes and twitched slightly in frustration. "What is this all about?" Locke's hazel eyes popped back open and he gestured at me with his vertically-outstretched palm.

I thought for a moment before I answered. "I just think I'm the only one here who gets him."

Locke's mouth hung agape and he stared at me with disbelief. He was about to speak.

"Don't interrupt me!" I cut him off before he could. "Remember the boat ride we took to Thamasa before the world collapsed?"

Locke nodded. His expression still betraying his incredulous attitude.

I payed it no mind as I continued. "He told me he overheard my talking with Leo about love, and specifically came out to warn me of people who've killed their emotions, including himself. Locke, if he was truly emotionless he wouldn't have even bothered. Then later, when we got trapped in that burning house, he came for us. He said it was just to save Interceptor, but I _know_ that's a lie!"

Locke sighed condescendingly and shook his head.

I continued to ignore him. "Then on the Floating Continent! If Shadow was just seeking his own death he could've just taken a leap at any moment, but he didn't!" I gestured sharply with my extended index finger to emphasize my point. "Not only that but he fought with us all the way to ATMA. And you saw that thing Locke! We all thought we were going to die. We threw our _everything_ at that monster; you, me, Sabin, and Shadow" I counted them off on my hand as I named them.

Locke was frowning and clearly unmoved.

I pushed onward regardless. "Then he skulked away from us in shame, said he didn't have a right to fight beside us. Those aren't the words of someone who has 'murdered their feelings' as he claims. Then he threw himself at Kefka and saved us all. Locke, even if he was seeking his own death he was seeking an honorable one. Doesn't that count for anything? You're damned right I wasn't getting on that airship without him! Without at least waiting for him!" My rising voiced betrayed my passionate and intense emotions.

Locke raised an eyebrow but remained quiet.

I continued. "Then the world collapsed and we find him near death in a cave. Then he's throwing himself at all challengers in the arena. And now this. Why can't you understand that he pushes people away because he loathes himself? You of _all_ people should be able to empathize with that-"

"DON'T YOU _EVER_ COMPARE ME TO HIM!" Locke stepped forward roaring in anger, interrupting me. His eyes blazed with an indignant fury. "That man is an assassin. That is a man who will end someone's life because you toss him a purse of Gil. Such an act is _beneath_ contempt. Don't you dare _ever_ cast my lot with his or compare _anything_ I may feel inside with his well deserved self loathing!"

"Oh and what you did was so different?!" I shouted back, stepping in closer to get directly in his face. "You stole for a living! Times were shitty for a lot of people! How can you hold him in contempt for doing what was necessary to eat when you were perfectly willing to do the same?!" I continued in condemnation of Locke's superior attitude.

Locke's face contorted and his nostrils tensed. His right eye twitched and the side of his mouth quivered. "First of all," Locke said in a strained tone as though he was holding back furious rage "I never 'stole'. I treasure hunted, and that you would even attempt to compare the two things is evidence of just how little you really understand about the world."

"Oh because you know _sooooooo_ much more than I do!" I spoke with bitter sarcasm as I threw my hands up in disgust.

"OF COURSE I DO TERRA!" Locke shouted in frustration at me. "I've been in the world for twenty six years! You've only been conscious of the world for two! AND you have the body, hormones and desires of a fully grown woman at that! I'm sorry Terra, but when it boils down to it you don't know shit!"

My furious scowl and silence were all Locke needed to comprehend my thoughts.

Locke took a deep breath and stepped backwards to resume a more normal, less threatening stance. "I'm sorry. That was out of line." He offered an apology then sighed. "Look Terra I honestly think it's sweet that you're trying to see the good in Shadow like this, but you're thinking with your heart and not your head. You have to understand that you're projecting things onto him that simply are not there. He's an evil man and if you keep trying to show him empathy he will _only_ hurt you. Mark my words on that Terra."

Locke shrugged. "And you're right. I did stand shoulder to shoulder with him. but I did so for a reason. That reason being he's one of the best at what he does; hurting and killing things. And that is _all_ he knows how to do Terra, I've seen people like him before and I know how they operate. All of your empathy is wasted on him, which is a shame really because you have so much of it."

I'd had enough of Locke's crap and pushed my way past him and back towards the house.

"What are you doing?" Locke asked, his tone demanding.

"Going back inside," I answered coldly without looking back at him.

_**. . . .Change in character perspective. . . .**_

Celes gazed at me. An odd look of sympathy blanketed her face "I know what it's like to feel as though killing yourself is the only way out Shadow. I had every intention of killing myself before Locke found me-"

"Save your platitudes you town-burning ice bitch," I said to her coldly and dismissively.

Celes gave a fake laugh. "See, it's funny you bring that up Shadow as it also," Celes gave Cyan something of a condemning look before turning back to face me "gives me the opportunity to explain something."

Celes paused briefly before she began speaking again. "'Burn them all'. Those where Gestahl's exact orders when Maranda refused what was called 'peaceful integration' into The Empire. I still remember the cold detachment with which I received the order. 'Burn them all', a single phrase on the carrier pigeon's parchment written there as though it were some inconsequential thing."

Not a sound was heard as Celes spoke. You could've heard a pin drop. "I gave the order as any good general would. 'Burn them all' I said with the same calloused detachment I had read the order not fifteen minutes before speaking it."

Celes frowned and there was another short pause before she continued her story. "I could say that I gave the order from the rear and then bore witness to my soldiers sacking the town with an utter savagery, taking no direct part myself. But that would be a lie. I lead from the front and slew soldier and civilian alike with equal abandon, as Magi-Tek armor bombardments obliterated homes and fortifications in an absolutely one sided slaughter. It wasn't long before they surrendered."

Celes took a deep inhale and closed her eyes for a few moments before relating the following part. "One particularly gruesome thing I remember was when a heat beam fired from a Magi-Tek armor set a large house ablaze, and the force of the explosion propelled a man from the top story window. He rose from the ground with miraculously little harm, though in an absolute panic ran back into the house. We only discovered why he did something that suicidal much later. When clearing the rubble, soldiers pulled out his charred corpse cradling a dead infant girl; the smoke likely suffocated her immediately."

Celes suddenly turned her attention away from me and towards Cyan. "Tell me Cyan, what was the Gestahlian Empire's penalty for high treason?"

"Death," Cyan answered after a pause, his voice hardly above a whisper.

"Correct." Celes answered. "When I committed treason against The Empire, I knew exactly what that meant and what lay in store for me. And I wanted it. After what The Empire would later dub 'The Maranda Incident', I couldn't live with myself."

Celes shook her head and frowned. It was as though even just by speaking this tale she was, on some level, reliving it. I could relate to such an experience. "Every morning I woke up and looked at myself in the mirror and spoke the same words again and again. They were the words I truly felt in the pit of my soul directed with the utmost bile and viciousness at the cold and clearly evil thing gazing back at me. 'I hate you'."

Celes paused, as though taking a moment to compose herself before resuming. "Sometimes it was a whisper, other times I screamed it at the tops of my lungs. But it was the pure reflective truth of everything I thought of the person I had become; the 'Ice Queen' of the Imperial Army."

Cid, who had simply been observing quietly up until this moment, was now staring aghast. "Celes I..." He trailed off before resuming. "...I never knew." He hung his head. "I'm sorry."

Celes turned a loving glance towards Cid. "It's fine Grandad. I was keeping it hidden on purpose," she reassured him. Celes turned back to me. "So ultimately," she continued "I did what I thought most appropriate, and when the Empire seized Figaro, I waited for my most opportune moment before turning my sword and spells on my own soldiers in an act of rebellious suicide. In retrospect there were smarter things I could've done, but at the time I was far from thinking clearly."

Celes gave a light shrug "I'm somewhat impressed with myself at how many I took down before they apprehended me; eight soldiers, two officers and a Magi-Tek armor. I was hoping to die with a sword in my hand, but, they were aiming to apprehend and not kill. They tossed me in a cell and waited on Gestahl to give the execution order, so it could be all nice and official. Most likely they'd have hauled me back to Vector to do it all as publicly and dramatically as possible. Either a drawing and quartering or perhaps flaying me alive; something appropriately gruesome."

Though I was, to be honest, somewhat surprised by Celes' sudden revelations, I was also master at disguising then killing my feelings before they so much as got off the ground. My expression remained blank and unimpressed.

"I wasn't about to give the Empire the satisfaction of executing me, of course. I had every intention of killing myself the very instant I was unshackled, which they'd have inevitably done if only to transport me. Point being, if Locke never found me in that cell when he did, I'd be long dead by now. Either by falling on a sword I wrestled from a scabbard, or even just casting ice on myself a few times, I wasn't making it to that execution alive. I would be the one to take my own life. Not them."

Celes focused her gaze upon me. It was different than Terra's. Celes' ice blue eyes were colder and more detached; less piercing, but at the same time carried a sort of empathy that, while different than Terra's, was no less present. "So, with _that_ all out of the way; why exactly did you try to kill yourself Shadow?" Celes inquired.

As I had zero interest in playing this little game of You-Tell-Yours-And-I'll-Tell-Mine that Celes was attempting with me, I simply turned my gaze away and looked up at the ceiling, resuming my silence.

"I guess you're done talking then?" Celes asked.

My silence and continued gaze above answered her question for me.

Celes shrugged. "Okay, whatever. Regardless of whether or not you're grateful for it at the end of the day, we're not letting you die. If after all this you decide to go jump off the nearest cliff you see, oh well, we honestly can't stop you if you're that dead set on it. Regardless, we'll know we did everything we could. It bares repeating though Shadow, Terra's right, you don't get to pick and choose who decides to care about you; life doesn't work that way."

Celes quietly exited the room and there was an extended silence, followed by more footsteps and more creaks of the swinging door. I turned my head back upright to see that I was now alone in the room with Cyan who was peering down at me, a perplexed look on his face. "Clyde the Train Bandit" he said aloud. "I would'st narry have guessed" I glared up at the aged Doman "Thou were'st wanted throughout the entirety of the old Doman territories; did'st thou truly believe I would'st not recognize thee?"

I smiled a toothy grin. "Gonna finish the job then?" I tilted my neck to the side, giving him a clean spot to strike. "You guys got Baram after all, might as well complete the set."

"Aye," Cyan answered with no clear inflection or indication of tone to his voice. "His execution was particularly gruesome from what I recall; a full drawing and quartering, grizzly stuff that." Cyan gave a sigh. "T'was a far graver penalty than would'st typically be imposed, but given the circumstances, I think we both know why that was."

"Guess it's my turn now then, eh?" I locked eyes with Cyan. "C'mon Samurai, do it" Cyan however remained motionless. "I bet the king died nice and slow from Kefka's poison. I also bet his fat ass stunk the joint up real bad once he started rotting. My only regret is I don't know where the son of a bitch got laid out, so I can't piss on his grave!" I snarled.

Cyan's face contorted into anger but still he did not make a move.

"COME ON!" I summoned up what little strength was left in me to shout. "DO IT! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!"

"Do what?" Cyan asked, annoyed.

"KILL ME!" I choked and rasped with the last of my strength, spittle raining out from my mouth.

Cyan just shook his head. "Why on earth would'st I do that?" he asked rhetorically, as though the answer to why he wasn't should be obvious, before turning his back to me. I turned my head back towards the ceiling and heard his footsteps grow fainter and fainter followed by a final creek and shut of the door. I was alone again.

_**. . . .Change in character perspective. . . .**_

"Terra!" Locke called from behind me but I ignored him as I re-entered the house. "Terra!" Locke repeated as I continued to ignore him. Locke's footsteps approached quicker "Damn it Terra." He grabbed my arm.

I pulled away from him. Pivoted on my foot, turned, and gave him a stiff shove. "Don't touch me!" I snapped.

Locke got knocked back a considerable distance. He looked at me with bemused confusion. "I'm just trying to protect you!"

"MAYBE I DON'T _WANT_ PROTECTING RIGHT NOW LOCKE!" I snapped at him.

Locke was shaken slightly by that, almost as though I'd hurt his feelings in some way. Slowly, his face contorted into a snarl "FINE!" he shouted back at me. "GET YOURSELF HURT! SEE IF I CARE!-"

"Locke! Calm down!" came another voice. It belonged to Celes, who'd just exited the basement door and was rapidly ascending the staircase. Sabin was in tow.

Celes threw me an odd glance. I assumed she was still cross with me over my comments concerning that villain she calls 'Granddad'. She then faced Locke a second time. "I'm guessing you two are at odds about Shadow?" she inquired rhetorically. It was fairly obvious given the current situation.

"You could say that," I answered, nodding over at Locke. "He seems to be threatened by the idea that I might see some good in Shadow-"

"Because there isn't any!" Locke interrupted

"Locke. Shush!" Celes shut him up quickly then turned back to me. "What do you mean Terra?"

I took a deep breath and collected my thoughts before I answered. "Shadow's clearly hurting and he's pushing us away. I think if we leave him alone he's going to try killing himself again, and..." I shook my head and sighed "I just can't let that happen." Sabin had now fully ascended behind Celes and seemed to be taking in the situation as I continued speaking. "I love and care about all of you," I gestured towards the stairs "Shadow included. He's a good man." I gave Locke a condemning look. "But _you_ would rather we let him kill himself."

Sabin's expression went alarmed as I said that. "Is that true?" he turned to Locke, shocked.

Locke groaned in frustration. "Sabin you studied martial arts! You're an expert! You of _all_ people should know what ninja are like! Shadow is only good for one thing; killing. And now with Kefka dead, there's no good in the world left for him to do. He'll only go back to doing bad shit from here on out, so it's better for everyone if he just dies, and if he's willing to do the job himself, all the better!" Locke pleaded his case.

"I see Locke's point," Celes acknowledged before Sabin even had a chance to respond.

Sabin turned to Celes, aghast. "You _can't_ be serious," he said in disbelief. I was about to say the same exact thing.

"I'm not condoning it," Celes pointed out "nor condemning it."

"How can you _not_ condemn an attitude like that?!" I exclaimed at Celes.

"Because I understand where it's coming from." Celes answered calmly. "Locke has a point, Shadow was a ninja, an assassin. He has one set of skills and I don't get the impression that he's willing to learn a new trade. If Shadow indeed decides against killing himself, it's damn near certain that he'll go back to killing people for money."

"He can go to the arena then," Sabin pointed out the obvious with a half-smirk.

"And for how long would that satisfy him?!" Locke exclaimed with wild hand gestures. "Seriously, sometimes I think I'm the only one here who has a brain-" Locke's tirade was interrupted by the timely entrance of Relm and Strago, of all people.

"Don't mean to be interrupting anything. I just have some business that needs to be taken care of." Strago said in a tone that was oddly glum for him.

"Why are we going to see the Shadowguy, Gramps?" Relm asked him.

Strago's response was strangely cryptic. "This will only take a moment my dear..."

_**. . . .Change in character perspective. . . .**_

With solitude, the dark feelings came flooding back to me; depression, self-loathing, general misanthropy. In times like this I usually retreated to the comfort of strong drink; I could've gone for a stiff vodka and tonic right about now...maybe for a last drink before I tried this shit again, only this time far away from meddlesome idiots.

I looked around the room searching for something, anything, to catch my attention and distract myself from the rising darkness. But there was nothing, literally. This was one of the most boring rooms I'd ever had the misfortune of finding myself confined within. The walls were a bland wood paneling, there was nothing decorative on the walls or anywhere else, and the cement below was stained, unpainted and ugly.

I closed my eyes and focused myself on the idea of my suicide, to keep the thoughts and feelings at bay. _I'm still going to kill myself,_ I repeated over and over in my head. The thought, the anticipation of it, it silenced the bantering demons in my head with the knowledge that this was only a temporary reprieve from the inevitable.

Even now I could still hear the fools arguing in the room above me, an irritating distraction. But suddenly I heard _her_ voice and what she said made my eyes pop open in abject horror.

"Why are we going to see the Shadowguy, Gramps?" I heard the girl say from above.

He wouldn't...

"This will only take a moment my dear." I heard the old man reply as footsteps descended the stairs.

It wasn't long before the two entered. "Hello Clyde," Strago said, and even after _all_ these years, I could still hear it in his voice. He blamed me. "You realize the only reason I'm doing this is because of your little stunt back there," Strago went on, a condescending inflexion to his tone. I remained absolutely quiet. To be quite honest I was petrified. Relm knowing that I was her father. I'm not a man who's given to fear, but that prospect alone managed to stir some feeling in me.

Strago sighed and shook his head. "I always promised myself I'd let her know before I passed on, probably as a secret I'd hold close unto my death bed." Strago paused and looked me over then shook his head once more. "But after seeing that you're prepared to take the cowards way out like that, well, I couldn't wait any longer."

"What's this all about?" Relm asked, quite confused.

"Strago, don't," I rasped, my voice was still weak from shouting at Cyan earlier. Then, as if on cue to make this entire situation worse, the idiots all re-entered the room at this exact moment. The thief, the ex-general, the bodybuilder and the child with a woman's body.

Strago payed me, and them, absolutely no mind. "Relm, do you remember daddy?"

Relm peered at me with her inquisitive perceptive eyes, then looked back to Strago. "No way," she uttered with a shake of her head.

"Yeah." Strago nodded in my direction. "That's him. I'm surprised you still remember his face, you were three years old when he abandoned you," Strago continued.

Relm looked down at Interceptor whom was laying on the ground adjacent to the bed. "I knew this dog was familiar," she said to herself before turning back to me.

I was dead quiet. I didn't know what to say. Moreover there was nothing I _could_ say. Relm stared at me for a solid minute, her expression running the gamut from perplexed, to hurt, to angry, to finally a blank stare. Relm closed her eyes and took a deep breathe before bellowing at the top of her lungs. "I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!" She glared right at me, her expression now one of intense rage. She was taking deep breaths, almost hyperventilating. Her rage was well justified. Growing up without a mother my impact as a role model and protective figure was doubly important. And I fucked it up. Probably fucked her head up too in ways I didn't even realize.

The other four were just standing like spectators, but each had their own reaction to it all. Sabin was looking on completely dumbfounded, Locke had a smug, self-satisfied grin, Celes looked somewhat sad, and Terra...her expression was entirely blank. It was almost like she had no idea how to internalize what she just witnessed, and had no frame of reference to draw upon.

"You have no idea how much it hurt her when you left Clyde," Strago lectured. "For weeks on end I tried to console her. 'Why did daddy leave?' she would ask. 'Is it my fault? Did I do something to make daddy not love me anymore? Is it because mommy is gone?'"

"DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!" Relm screamed again now interrupting Strago, stamping her foot with each utterance of the word 'dead'. "I WISH YOU WERE DEAD! I WISH WE LEFT YOU FOR DEAD!" she continued shouting.

"She's a sweet girl, sensitive, but she keeps much locked inside. I think that's where she draws the inspiration for her art to be honest," Strago continued.

"DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" Relm shrieked one final time before bolting out of the room and tearing up the stairs.

Sabin looked around at everyone in a panic until he realized no one else was moving, and then tore back up the stairs after Relm.

Celes looked over at Locke and Terra respectively, seemingly not knowing what to do. "Dammit" she muttered lowly to herself then took off through the door after Relm as well.

Strago waited for her to be fully out of earshot before going on. "Gabrielle was all I had left," he said bitterly. He continued talking as though it were only the two of us in the room.

I began speaking likewise. "You talk as though I killed her intentionally-"

"I WARNED YOU SHE WAS TOO FRAIL TO HAVE A CHILD!" he roared, interrupting. Strago's face was no more than a foot from mine, his aging features contorting, his eyes bulging, the vein in his forehead was throbbing. He was filled with so much rage.

"She was the one who pushed for it-"

"AND YOU WERE THE MAN! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR JOB TO TALK HER OUT OF SUCH NONSENSE!" Strago interrupted again, still roaring with rage. His expression turned sour and he sharply looked away from me "But you gave in, and now because of your weakness she's dead-"

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU OLD BASTARD!" Terra suddenly broke her silent blank stare and screamed at the top of her lungs.

There was a stunned gaze from Locke. Strago slowly turned his head towards Terra. "Girl, there is much here you fail to understand. I would suggest you-"

"I SAID SHUT YOUR_ FUCKING_ MOUTH!" Terra bellowed, her face contorted into an expression of pure rage. The volume of her shout was quite impressive considering her light voice and petite frame.

I turned my head to face her. "Stay out of this. I don't want you to defen-"

"You! _Shush_!" Terra gestured sharply at my face with her outstretched hand as though to stifle me. I decided it would be more energy than it was worth to argue her down, so I did as she instructed and 'shushed', returning my gaze to the ceiling.

Strago began to rise. "Now listen here-"

"No! _You_ listen!" Terra snapped at him before he could finish, she was absolutely incensed. "I really don't care _what_ in your senility-addled brain you think Clyde has done to you, but I'm not going to let you talk to him like that. Who the fuck do you think you are? I may not know much about this kind of thing, but I know enough to realize you're absolutely full of it with this 'man's responsibility' crap! All you're trying to do is be hurtful! He just tried to kill himself! Hasn't he been through enough?!" Terra ranted with her hands gesturing wildly all throughout.

Locke chuckled. Terra slowly turned her furious gaze towards him. "Told you he was a piece of shit," he said matter of fact. "If I'm following this right he knocked up Strago's daughter, while knowing full well she was a weak and sickly sort, causing her to die during childbirth, and then abandoned his kid; Relm."

Terra looked away from Locke and lowered her head. Her arms straightened out at her sides. Her hands balled into fists.

Strago nodded at Locke. "Yes. That's precisely correct," Strago answered him. "I'm glad we're on the same page at least."

"It's not difficult to be," Locke affirmed. "It's as though every bit of information I learn about him just re-affirms how much garbage he-"

"If you both don't leave, now," Terra growled, "I'm going to do something unpleasant for all of us, which I'll probably regret later." Her head raised sharply. Her eyes burned with furious anger. "So I'd suggest you both get out," she practically hissed.

Strago glared at her, but I'll be darned she glared right back. The child had balls, I had to give her that. "You said and did what you came here for; leave!" Terra declared with a sharp wave of her arm.

Strago was shaking angrily. "Why you foolish young-"

"Strago, let's just get out of here," Locke interjected. He looked over at me. "Your words are wasted on him anyway." I remained silent. Locke then faced Terra, who was intentionally not looking at him. Locke just shook his head. His expression was one of intense disappointment.

"Yes." Strago paused. "You're right Locke." Slowly Strago made his way back towards the exit and headed out. Locke followed shortly after giving Terra one more disappointed glance.

"So, Clyde is it?" Terra asked once their footsteps had fully ascended the staircase.

"Please. Don't call me that." I answered while still staring at the ceiling.

"But it's your name." Terra answered plainly.

I began to speak. "Child-"

"Don't call me that Clyde!" Terra interrupted.

"But you are," I answered. "You are a child and I am a shade; a shadow of a man. Perhaps that man whom I shadow was once known as Clyde, but _Clyde_ is dead. I am what remains. Emotionless. Purposeless. A vague essence devoid of-"

"Oh just stop it!" Terra interrupted me again. "Just stop it with your self-pitying melodramatic nonsense!" Terra took a deep breath. "I've decided that you're coming back to Mobliz with me."

I took my eyes from the ceiling and looked right at Terra. "You can't make me do that-"

"And you're not in any position to argue,_ Clyde_!" Terra emphasized my name. "You're injured, need care, and I don't trust any hospital to keep a close enough eye on you."

Her green eyes blazed with anger. They were so piercing. It felt like they were burrowing into the back of my skull.

"I'm not letting you kill yourself," Terra stated as though it were something she had power to prevent. "Because you don't get to do that!" Terra's eyes began forming tear wells that dripped down her cheeks. "You don't get to just drop into somebody's life while they're at their most confused and then disappear forever! You don't get to lie to my face about how your feelings are dead then save me, TWICE, only to jump off the top of Kefka's tower and die!" At this point tears were covering Terra's face. She was struggling to keep ranting between snobs and sniffles.

"You don't get to do _any_ of that! And I'm not going to let you!" Terra cried. There was a level of innocence in her logic to be honest. She was free of preconceived notions and saw these matters in such purely emotional, simplistic terms. Naivety? Maybe; but at the same time there was certain kind of genuineness that was refreshing, even endearing.

Admittedly, I saw little harm in the prospect of allowing myself to receive care from her if she was to be so insistent. In the end it wouldn't change anything.

"If you say so. Child." I answered. Cryptically by intent.


	2. Chapter 2

As I darted up the stairs behind Relm, I caught up with Sabin. He approached the door as it slammed shut with Relm's passing. "Sabin. Head back to the airship and fill the others in on what's going on. I'll talk to Relm." Sabin glanced back at me. His face was a picture of concern. "Trust me. I got this," I reassured him.

Sabin nodded back to me. "Alright, if you're sure."

"I am. Cyan is already on his way back there. Go meet up with him," I calmly instructed.

Sabin nodded again, proceeded through the door and hung a right towards the airship. I exited and saw Relm sitting on the edge of the Solitary Island's beachhead. The waves were gently rising and receding, just short of Relm's feet. She was looking out at the ocean. I assumed it was to take her mind off of what she had just learned.

I sighed softly to myself. While attempting to calm down a child was far from my realm of expertise I surmised that I was really the only one here with the experiences to relate to an eleven-year-old girl. Normally I'd have left dealing with Relm to Strago but, he was more concerned with berating Shadow right now. I took a deep breath, composed my thoughts and walked towards Relm with my typical steady and self assured gait. I sat beside her. "What's up?" I asked in as gentle a tone as I could muster. Relm said nothing, didn't even look in my direction, just continued staring out at the ocean.

I stared out at the ocean with her in silence for a few moments before speaking again. "The waves are relaxing," I commented, but Relm remained silent. The waves continued to gently roll up the beach just beyond range of our feet. As I gazed out upon them I was reminded of the many days I caught fish on these very same shores, feeding and nursing Cid back to health. As I reflected on Cid and my life I realized I shared much in common with Relm. She kind of reminded me of myself when I was her age, though mouthier than I ever was. Maybe more precocious as well. "My father took off when I was real young too. I know how much it sucks," I spoke.

"It's not the same" Relm spoke barely above a whisper.

"Why's that?" I asked in a gentle tone.

Relm was quiet for a few moments before she looked up slightly and spoke, again still hardly above a whisper. "Because mine's been here the whole time." Relm paused."And he still didn't care." This was a hard point to argue. "All the times my life was in danger, all the opportunities he had to tell me, he pretended I was a stranger," Relm continued.

Relm huddled up tighter into a ball. "He couldn't care less if I live or die. He really only came into that burning building for his dog, I wasn't even an after thought; he said so himself. Locke and Terra cared more and they were just strangers then. They cared more than my so called father did." Relm returned her gaze to the ocean.

I learned from Locke and Terra what happened in Thamasa before the collapse. Relm's understanding of events wasn't inaccurate. Indeed, knowing that Shadow was in fact her father added a new dimension to it all. I felt bad for her. "I guess it isn't all the same." I paused in thought for a moment. "But that doesn't mean I don't understand."

There was another lengthy pause before Relm spoke again. "How old were you when he left?" She asked softly, still gazing out at the ocean.

"Two, maybe two and a half. I grew up in a Vector orphanage which meant I was going to serve in the Imperial army. That's where I met Cid. He's kind of like my Strago," I worded my story in such a way that Relm could understand.

"How'd you meet him?" Relm asked.

"When he chose me to be made me into a Magitek Knight," I answered.

"Oh yeah. The Empire made people into Artificial Magi right? Weren't you and Kefka the only ones?" Relm's curiosity had been piqued.

"That's right." This was only partially true as there was a third, a little boy. But he perished in the Esper attack rather tragically. It was a depressing thought, so I pushed it to the back of my mind. Now wasn't the time for me to be dwelling on such things.

Relm turned towards me, but averted her eyes to the ground. "So you're..." she trailed off with her words, then slowly raising her head or eye contact "...kind of like me then?" she asked, almost hopefully.

I smiled. "In a sense, yeah. I am. We're both humans who've been infused with magic one way or another, myself artificially and you being descended from Magi." I gave a gentle sigh. "Doesn't matter anymore I suppose. Magic is gone for good it seems." Relm frowned at that and looked back towards the ground. "Don't like that idea very much, do you?" I commented on Relm's reaction.

"Without magic I've lost everything that made me special." Relm said lowly. There was a little bitterness to her voice.

"That's not true," I stated as a matter of a fact.

"Is so," Relm retorted, her tone still low and bitter around the edges.

"You're a good artist," I pointed out.

"There are tons of artists out there. Most of them better than me," Relm replied snappily, lifting her face to mine, then sighed. "How many of them could draw things into life?" Relm frowned and looked down again. "That's all I had," she said weakly.

"I can relate," I spoke honestly.

Relm looked back up at me, her face a picture of skepticism. "Bullshit!" she exclaimed.

I shrugged. "It's true. I've been a Magitek Knight for nearly my entire life. Everything I know is built around being one. All I know is swinging a sword and casting magic, I was raised to do nothing else, I know nothing else. You, on the other hand, still have your art."

Relm half-frowned and bobbed her head side to side. "Okay I guess you have a point," she conceded.

"Also, bullshit on most artists being better than you. Owzer sought you out specifically and, slovenly or not, he knows art."

That prompted a giggle from Relm. "I always thought he looked like some kind of slug monster or an amoeba. He was so fat he didn't have arms! He had lumps!" Relm continued, demonstrating her crass sense of humor.

I shook my head. "Relm, that's terrible," I admonished.

"Oh! Bullshit! That fatass totally deserves it!" Relm retorted.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes, scoffing lightly.

"You big faker! You think it's funny too!" Relm continued.

"Nope," I said with a grin. "Not one bit," I closed my eyes and gave my head a sharp shake too and fro.

Relm responded by leaping up to her feet and stretching her arms out as to mimic Owzer's ponderous frame and puffed her face out. When that failed to elicit a chuckle from me she proceeded to stomp and waddle about while making silly "plfft!" noises with each step. After a few seconds of this I couldn't hold it in any longer. I started cracking up.

"HA!" Relm exclaimed bounding in front of me. "Made you laugh! Nyeh-Nyeh" she teased and stuck out her tongue.

"Okay, I'll admit it. You did." I relented.

Relm put her hands on her hips, bending forward in a pout. "You thought it was funny in the first place!" She mock scolded.

I smiled. "Maaaaybe" I said coyly. I grabbed my chin in pretend contemplation with a wry smile. "I did find myself wondering how he could wipe his own rear end after using the restroom," I mused aloud.

Relm raised her eyebrows at me. "Did you ever get a whiff of him as he passed by? I am convinced he didn't!"

I tried not to laugh but there was a certain element to her bluntness that I found humorous, I couldn't help but snicker slightly.

"Seriously though, fuck that fat piece of shit. I'll take his money when I finish that painting for him but he disgusts me." Relm continued.

I piqued my brow at her. "Why so harsh on Owzer, Relm?"

"Because he's a lazy fat greedy slob with a shit ton of money and all he does is gorge himself on expensive food and commission artists to paint pointless self-indulgent crap for him. People like him shouldn't have anything!" Relm snarled, shaking her head. "Ugh, never mind. Forget it. I'mma go check on Strago. He's probably crapped his diapers so hard he gave himself a stroke by now. That wrinkly old shit falls to pieces without me around."

And, as though all Relm needed was this brief distraction and conversation, she bounded up and off back towards Cid's cabin like her usual springy self.

. . . . _**Change in scene and narrative**_ . . . .

"You're out of your goddamned mind if you'd even _think_ I'd agree to that!" Terra exclaimed at Cid.

Cid's composure remained calm in the face of Terra's outburst. "All I'm saying is that you don't have any medical training. Clyde will need regular medical attention for some time now and if you're this dead set on bringing him to Mobliz with you, then the most logical choice of action is-"

"You aren't coming within a hundred feet of my children." Terra spoke coldly, her hand rested threateningly on her scabbard. "Or I'll cut your throat." Her eyes narrowed.

Cid raised his arms gently, his palms open and outstretched, "I understand your hesitation-"

"You don't understand _anything,"_ Terra cut Cid off.

Cid paused at Terra's words briefly, then sighed. "If only that were true," he spoke mournfully.

"Listen," I interjected attempting, to calm this potentially explosive altercation. "Why don't we save this for-"

"Locke, not now." Cid interrupted, gesturing at me with his extended index and middle fingers, while not taking his eyes from Terra.

Terra's glare hardened. "I don't care who vouches for you Cid. You're an irredeemable monster as far as I'm concerned," she hissed.

Cid half smirked at that and chuckled."A monster huh?" He chuckled a second time, shaking his head. "Ah! The irony. So then, I assume the memories have returned in full?" Cid inquired. Terra said nothing but the glare of pure hate in her eyes was unmistakable. "The cell, the tank, your father, your life as a child and my hand in it all? You remember it all now, yes?"

Terra was shaking in anger "Only pieces of it..." she growled. "They've been trickling back ever since-"

"Ever since the tower fell, yes I'm aware. It all has to do with magic. Well, with magic leaving the world to be more precise." Cid finished Terra's sentence for her then explained.

"What does magic have to do with any of this?" I asked feeling terribly confused and not wanting to be left out of the loop of whatever it was that was going on.

Cid laughed a bitter laugh. "Ah Maduin, protective of his precious child to the very end. When I first learned Maduin had restored Terra's memories it was clear to me he had taken extra care to ensure certain shall we say 'traumatic' ones stayed locked safely away in the recesses of Terra's mind, warded off." Terra's face twitched and contorted as though she were suddenly in pain "of course with magic no longer in this world those wards are gone, nothing will stop the memories from returning now."

Terra grimaced and lifted her left hand to her temple, slowly lowering her head to rest into it...

_**Terra's Flashback**_

It was hazy and I was more a spectator than actually participating. It was similar to when Arvis first removed the slave crown or when Father restored my memories while I laid in Ramuh's bed on the top of Zozo Tower. I saw Father; beaten, weary and in chains. Yet still he managed to carry himself with a measure of pride and dignity. Two Imperial soldiers pulled him down a corridor by the chains attached to his neck collar as a third followed. Gestahl walked alongside them, holding me in his hands. The surroundings were cold and steely, everything was a neutral metallic gray. The loud whirring and humming of machines filled the air.

"You should be thanking your daughter," Gestahl began in his low bassy voice. "Were it not you were required for her formative stages you'd be set for the same terrible fate as your friends," he continued, an evil grin beneath his full, white beard. Father said nothing. However, his head hung low and I could sense the sorrow and rage emanating from him. Had his hands been unbound they would no doubt have been clenched into balls of rage or, more likely, wrapped around Gestahl's throat. "But don't feel too bad. You are to be the catalyst for the birth of the grandest empire our world has ever seen! With your help, willing or unwilling, nothing will stand in my way." Father remained silent but tears were welling up beneath his eyes.

We marched in silence for a few more minuted before reaching the end of the corridor. "Here we are," announced Gestahl. The end of the corridor opened up, sliding upward to reveal a medium sized room. "You'll be spending her early years here, I'd advise you make the most of this time while you still have it," Gestahl advised. "Lead him in and let him go."

The imperial troopers paused, then looked at each other nervously. "But sir-"

"Do as I say!" Gestahl commanded.

The troopers dragged my father into the room by his leash and unfastened him from his binds once inside. The moment Maduin was free he sprung around to grip the trooper who removed his bonds by the neck. In an instant he tore out his throat; killing him. Gestahl watched on, doing nothing, as the other two drew their swords and advanced only to be roasted alive by a Fira.

Maduin turned to Gestahl and charged but stopped dead in his tracks once Gestahl held me out in front of him. "You wouldn't want her to be hurt now, would you?" Gestahl's evil grin remained plastered to his face as Maduin dropped his hands to his sides and hung his head once more. "There's a good boy," Gestahl continued, mocking him.

Maduin finally spoke. "Please...don't hurt my daughter. Don't hurt Terra."

Gestahl slowly approached. "Back up!" he commanded. Maduin obeyed, giving Gestahl a healthy berth. "That's better," Gestahl remarked as he entered the room and placed me on the ground before backing out, sealing us within. Maduin looked down at me, holding me in his tremblings arms. He brought me in close to his bosom and there he cradled me weeping and roaring for quite some time.

The memories fast-forwarded now. I was three years old. The past three years had been something of a blur. I didn't see much. Just bits and pieces of me and father; mostly scenes of him doing parent stuff like teaching me, feeding me, changing me and whatnot. All of it flashing by in seconds. The whole time, however, Maduin had this aura of sadness that just surrounded him even when it was clear that my life brought joy to his heart. As a child I didn't understand it, but, I couldn't have known what was coming. Couldn't have known what Maduin, deep down, knew was coming.

One afternoon, without warning, the door burst open and dozens of Imperial soldiers filed in to circle me and my father. Drawing their swords and spears, they pointed their arsenal directly at us.

Maduin's face turned a picture of rage as I clung to his leg in abject horror. "Take one step closer, I dare any of you," he snarled.

"That's futile and you know it," a calm, cold and calculated male voice spoke from just beyond the doorway. "There's more where these soldiers came from, thousands. You can't win and your daughter could very well be harmed in the cross fire. I assure you that neither you or myself want that," the voice continued.

Maduin's face slowly turned from one of rage to one of resigned sorrow as his hands dropped to his sides and his head lowered. "I'd have come quietly," Maduin choked as tears began streaming down his face. "You could've just told me today was when you were taking her..."

"Couldn't take the risk. You might have tried to make a run for it and damaged our little investment here; she's quite valuable to us, and to my research," the voice replied.

"Daddy, I don't wanna go with these people," I whined softly, absolutely terrified.

"Shhh, it's okay baby girl. It's all going to be okay," father replied weakly.

"I wouldn't give the girl false hope like that if I were you Maduin. The fact of the matter is no, it's _not_ going to be okay, for either of you. You've met with a terrible fate being captured by us," the voice interjected callously.

Maduin knelt down to get eye level with me. "Baby girl, I want you to keep this with you," Maduin took his pendant from his neck and placed it around mine. "This was once mine, then your mother's, and now it's yours. Keep it close and know that neither of us are ever far from your-gyughhrk!" One of the soldiers had taken this intimate moment as an opportunity to crack Maduin in the back of the skull with his spear's pommel.

"DADDY!" I cried as Maduin's eyes glazed over. He collapsed forward onto the ground. I turned, my eyes blazing with fury at the soldier responsible.

The soldier laughed. "Fuckin' idiot. Should'a done this shit sooner," he mocked.

Tears of pain and rage began welling down from my eyes as I watched him laugh; I felt so much hate. Suddenly I felt power awaken from within my mind, my muscles, my soul, all of it filled with fiery wrath. I began chanting in a language I knew yet did not understand summoning all of my new found power directly into a single point. Flames erupted from my outstretched hands and consumed that son of a bitch.

"What the?!" The Imperial soldier exclaimed in shock. "I'm on fire! I'M ON FIRE!" he screamed as the flames covered him. His comrades reacted quickly and threw him to the ground attempting to smother out the flames. I doubted he escaped with anything less than multiple second degree burns.

"Remarkable." I heard the voice speak in awe. "Gestahl was wise indeed to take her."

Being young as I was, I had incredibly little magical energy. The simple act of casting a Fire spell had drained me to the point of exhaustion. I felt myself getting light headed and quickly collapsed into unconsciousness.

When I awoke I found myself in a sterile white room strapped to a chair. I tried to move but I couldn't, tried to scream but I couldn't. My ankles, legs, neck and torso were all strapped down as well as my right arm in an extended, elbow down position over an adjacent table. As I focused more on the surroundings I espied two figures engaged in conversation; a very small and neatly dressed blonde haired young man no older than twenty who looked strangely familiar, and the other I clearly recognized as a younger Cid.

"Cid, are you sure this is going to work?" The small blonde man spoke in a nervous and light nasally tone. His voice was familiar but I couldn't quite place it.

Cid held up a vial of red liquid in front of his face. As a child I didn't know what it was but reliving this as an adult I knew immediately. It was a vial of my blood. "Once I've analyzed this sample here, mimicking the mixture of human and Esper DNA present in Subject One should be more than just theoretical; it should be absolutely possible. With the extracted magical essence from our Esper captives of course," Cid explained. In that instant I realized that the voice from earlier was his; everything that just happened had occurred at Cid's command.

"'Subject One' has a name you know," the blonde man spoke disdainfully.

"Given the nature of my plans for her, humanizing Subject One wouldn't be wise," Cid said coldly while tucking away my blood sample into his lab coat.

The blonde man shook his head. "Enslaving sentient creatures and using their children as guinea pigs." The man sighed deeply. "Fuck me, Cid this is wrong."

"All for the greater good Kefka."

If I weren't reliving repressed memories, my eyes would have gone so wide they'd likely pop out of my skull upon hearing such words. That was Kefka? Of course! Looked and sounded just like him...only without the jester getup, absurd makeup, and manic tone.

"'Chyeah whatever you tell yourself to sleep at night Doc." Kefka spoke with scorn.

"If the War of the Magi was not embellished and the stories of magic's capabilities are indeed accurate just think of the possibilities! A world without death, without pain, without sickness, without disease. I'll go to any length to make that reality!" Cid spoke passionately justifying himself.

"Than you and I are extremely different people." Kefka spat.

"You are the one who volunteered for this knowing full well where my research was coming from." Cid retorted, his tone once again cold.

Kefka looked off to the side and at the ground. "I have my reasons," he said bitterly.

"Is it because you're such a tiny man and nobody takes you seriously?," Cid mused aloud tauntingly.

"You're just as small as I am!" Kefka dismissed Cid with a wave of his arm.

"Yes, but I'm not a soldier I'm a Scientist," Cid pointed out. Kefka remained quiet as Cid went on. "That Leo kid they're making all this fuss over, he's five years your junior and yet he outclasses you in every single physical attribute. Stronger, faster, more agile-"

"ENOUGH!" Kefka interrupted, furious by Cid's speech. "I get it! Alright?! I'm doing this because it's the only way I'll ever get anywhere in the military." Kefka frowned and looked towards the floor again. "Having a famous father can only get me so far."

"Yes, what are general Kafka's thoughts on you being the first to undergo Magi-Tek infusion, if you don't my asking?" Cid inquired.

Kefka let out a snort. "Dad doesn't give a fuck. If anything he's hoping it'll transform me into a son he can be proud of but he's not holding out for a miracle," he spoke bitterly.

Cid gave a disinterested shrug. "In any event, your reasons aren't what's important. What's important is the furthering of my own research and understanding of magic. With every experiment I am one step closer to securing a perfect world, a paradise."

Kefka gave a cackle and within it I could hear shades of the madman he would become. "Yeah, that's the part I don't buy in the least Cid. A better world for Vector and her citizens? Maybe. But as for the rest of the world? They're gonna burn for this Cid, burn for our crimes. Mark my words on that," Kefka spoke in an assured tone.

I was amazed at just how prophetic Kefka's words had been while he was still sane. The irony here was downright poetic.

Cid gave Kefka a slight glower. "You don't need to understand the method to my brilliance," he snapped. "Just be ready tomorrow for the infusion and we both walk away from this happy."

Kefka shrugged. "Fine by me," he answered and walked out.

Cid turned a curious glance over towards me. "My word, Subject One has awakened," Cid scratched his chin in contemplation. "Her Esper DNA must give her a resistance to narcotics," he mused aloud as he approached. "I'll just use a higher dosage this time." He knelt beside me and reached into a pouch in his lab coat to retrieve a gauze, two unmarked jars of clear liquid and a hypodermic needle with syringe in a sealed, sterilized packet.

Cid casually opened the packet and assembled the needle and syringe, began filling it with the contents of one jar, then dabbed the gauze in the other. As Cid began wiping down my arm I gazed at him with terrified eyes. He utterly ignored me. I kept trying to scream but my muscles were too weakened. Cid brought the needle to my arm's vein and injected the cold liquid as I continued struggling to scream. How much in that moment I wanted to scream, but I just couldn't. Thankfully, I suppose, whatever it was he injected into me quickly did its work and drowsiness overtook me. I fell back into sleep.

When I awoke again I was still strapped to something, but this time upright. I was naked, standing in some sort of open glass cylinder, straps securing me in place and electrical nodes attached by wires all over my body. Adjacent to me in a similar, but sealed glass chamber stood Kefka. He seemed antsy, even nervous. Above us both, suspended in an identical chamber filled with a strange fluid and hooked up to wires similar to those on myself, as well as some variety of breathing apparatus, was my father Maduin. He appeared unconscious. Before us all, surrounded by some kind of giant mechanical terminal, stood Cid, like some variety of mastermind. Cid looked over at Kefka who gave him a thumbs up in response.

Kefka's face, however, was far from confidant.

Cid looked back at Kefka and gave him an assuring smile before turning back to his terminal. "Alright," Cid began speaking aloud to himself and pressed a button. A loud humming sounded from literally all around, and my father's body tensed in pain. Cid leaned in close to his terminal and spoke."Beginning magical extraction process of Subject Two. All appears to be going as planned." Cid's fingers flashed across the terminal once more, flipping a number of switches. I felt a sudden sharp pain rip through me, then another, then another, and another until my entire body felt like it was on fire. I was in too much pain to cry, to scream, to do anything other than just stand there immobilized. Cid watched on with a satisfied grin and turned back to his console. "Synching magical energy of Subject Two to Subject One's DNA algorithms," he spoke once more.

The sounds of whirring machinery grew louder and louder. The infernal humming in my head that accompanied the constant bolts of pain grew more and more deafening. I just barely managed to make out Cid's next words. "Beginning infusion process of Subject Three; Kefka Palazzo!" A deafening mechanical grinding sounded throughout the chamber as a blue mist filled Kefka's tube.

Cid laughed aloud. He was so pleased with himself. "I've done it!" Cid cried. "Now to just record my finding and-"

Cid was interrupted as Kefka let out a piercing, agonized wail from his tank.

"What the hell?!" Cid exclaimed, shocked. The machines all around him began blaring with loud sirens and bright flashing lights as he rushed about from terminal to terminal in complete panic, his eyes scanning the screens before him in terror. "Catastrophic system overloads on all circuits! Critical power failure eminent?! What the hell could possibly be-" he stopped mid-sentence and glared up at my father "You son of a bitch," Cid growled.

Though it pained me greatly, I turned my neck up to look at my father and the source of Cid's distress. Maduin was channeling his magical energy intentionally. He was overloading the system! Cid turned back to his terminal in a panic. "Gotta shut it down, got to-" the sudden explosion of his terminal cut Cid off short as it rocketed him backwards, sending him crashing to the ground.

"TERRA!" I suddenly heard in my mind. It was father's voice. "You must listen to me very carefully my child. This is our chance to escape. Focus every ounce of magic you have into the contraptions attached to you! With our combined magical strength we can create a power failure! We'll free our friends and we can all escape together! Terra! We can go home!" I didn't fully understand what father meant, but I understood the words 'escape' and 'home'. That was more than enough for me.

I was scared, but father could sense my fear. "Don't worry my baby girl. You can do it! I believe in you!" Maduin voiced his encouragement.

Sorrow, anger, rage, HATE! I felt so much HATE! I concentrated on that hate and on the same powers that came through when I lit that soldier ablaze. _"Hate, hate, hate, hate_." It repeated over and over in my mind like a mantra, I felt my blood boil, my soul light on fire. I was deep in focus but around me I could hear the sounds of blaring sirens and explosions rocketing throughout the laboratory, I just needed a little more strength, some hidden reserve, something...

And that's when it hit.

For the first time in my life I felt the beginning of what I'd later dub as morphing. It was strange to witness this. For the longest time I had thought my first 'morph' was just after the battle in the Narshe snowfields, when I was touched magically by the Esper Tritoch. Apparently however, that was not the case. I felt the raw power surge through every muscle of my body. I felt my flesh begin to change, I knew that if I could just-

My thoughts were suddenly cut short by a sharp and jabbing pain in the side of my neck. I felt the the sensation of all energy leaving my body. "NO!" I heard my father cry mournfully within my head.

I opened my eyes to see Cid staring down at me, his eyes furious. He held a syringe, which he had just plunged directly into my jugular. "You're not escaping," he growled, "not now, not while I'm so close!"

I felt the transformation process stop short, whatever he had injected me, it was strong...I felt so drowsy, so weak. I was desperately trying to not pass out.

Cid tore the wires off me, lifted a battle-axe over his head, and brought it down on the mechanical tubing connecting to my father's glass chamber. The flow of magical energy was cut off. He wasted no time running to Kefka's chamber and smashing it open. A thick light blue fog poured out as he cried "KEFKA! KEFKA!" over and over. After a prolonged silence the figure of Kefka slowly emerged from the chamber. "Kefka! Are you alright?!" Cid exclaimed in a panicked tone.

Kefka cracked a grin. "Alright!? I FEEL GREAT!" He cried triumphantly with raised fists in that all-to-familiar manic tone. He let out the first of what would be his many ear-splitting shrill laughs.

_**Present Day**_

A few moments had passed and Terra now slowly lifted her head back up from her palm. Her eyes were lightly glazed over but the expression painting her was unmistakable. It was pure rage. Terra shrieked at the absolute top of her lungs and made a beeline directly for Cid who stood completely motionless. Eerily so. Celes, who had followed Relm in re-entering the house just moments ago during Terra's trance, moved swiftly to intercept the half-esper. Terra responded by gripping Celes's bangs and, in a truly shocking display of strength, flung her to the ground despite being significantly smaller. Acting on pure instinct myself, I dashed to Celes's side. As I knelt to help the ex-General to her feet she shoved past me and ran directly towards the still unmoving Cid.

"Celes!" Cid's voice boomed. "You stay right were you are!" He turned a harsh glare to the woman he called Granddaughter, a glare that stopped Celes in her tracks.

Celes looked on in sheer confusion and hurt. "But Granddad-"

"But nothing!" Cid interrupted. "You have no right to interfere with this!" Cid bellowed before turning his attention back to Terra. The enraged green-haired woman had drawn her crystal blade with murderous intent in her eyes. Cid responded by opening his arms. "Go ahead," he instructed calmly. "If it'll make you feel any better about what happened to you, than by all means kill me right now." Celes stared on aghast. Terra's eyes narrowed. I could see her fingers tighten around the grip of her blade.

"TERRA!" I bellowed. "You're being insane! Put that sword down and-"

"LOCKE" Cid growled back without looking at me. "Shut your fucking mouth and stay put! Neither of you are interfering with this!" The old fuck was nuts! If he was going to be like this all I could do was watch.

"So, why haven't you killed me yet?" Cid inquired, stepping up, his arms still outstretched. "There, now I'm close enough where you could easily strike me dead before either of them could stop you." Cid nodded over to Relm and Strago, who had been observing quietly and unmoving this entire time. "And I don't think our other spectators have any intention of interfering."

Relm gave a shrug. "He's right. I don't." Relm spoke, uncaring. Celes glared at Relm in fury, then indicated towards Strago. "Strago's not a war criminal," Relm answered Celes before she even had a chance to voice her objection. Strago remained silent.

"Why haven't you killed me yet?" Cid repeated his question, his eyes locked with Terra's. Her rage appeared to be wavering and the grip on her blade loosened. "Could it be because you can't?" Cid mused aloud.

Terra glared at Cid for a few hard moments, her arms tensed, her face contorted in anger. She raised her blade above her head as if to strike, then froze, and finally slowly lowered her arm to her side. Terra let out a deep sigh and sheathed her blade. "You're right. I can't," she admitted.

"I'm not surprised that you can't. You don't have a malicious bone in your body," Cid claimed with a shrug. "You can't bring yourself to harm someone who's defenseless. That you have every right to is irrelevant to you. You still see it as wrong." Cid let out a heavy sigh. "So pure, so innocent." He shook his head. Cid was quiet for a few moments before he continued. "And I exploited that pure innocent child with a cold, uncaring efficiency for everything she was worth. But yet, here she stands, still innocent, still pure, still unspoilt. Terra, there are no words strong enough to convey the gravity of the sins I've committed against the Espers, your father, and above all you...I-"

"Are you actually asking for my forgiveness?" Terra was in disbelief.

There were a few moments of silence before he replied. "Yes."

Terra gave a slow shake of her head. "Cid, I won't kill you, but," her face contorted in anger once more "but I will never, _never_, forgive you for what you've done. Not now. Not on your death bed. Not ever." She spoke in a tone of absolute condemnation.

"Hrrmn," Cid vocalized then looked at the ground in disappointment. "That is completely understandable," he shrugged.

"And it wasn't just because you can't defend yourself," Terra continued. She nodded at the blonde woman. "I'd never do anything to hurt Celes-"

"Aside from some hair tossing," Relm laughed at her own joke.

"Relm! Shush!" Strago stifled her.

Terra shot Relm an angry glower before returning her attention to Cid. "I know that if I hurt you I'd also hurt Celes, and I refuse to do that. I will never hurt the people I love. No matter what."

Terra took a deep breath. "That's why I'm not abandoning Clyde either. You have a point Cid, he is going to need a doctor and though loathe I am to admit it...I'll need your help."

Cid smiled weakly. "I'm...glad in the end you saw reason."

"But firstly!" Terra stepped in close and grabbed Cid threateningly by neck of his lab coat. "If you so much as come anywhere_ near_ my children, I swear to you, Celes's Granddad or not, I will cut your fucking balls off. Are we clear on that?" Terra hissed and Cid nodded. "Secondly, the instant Clyde is healed to the point of stability you leave. No questions asked."

"No questions asked," he repeated Terra.

Terra let out a relaxed sigh, let go of Cid and took a step back. "Good," she smiled a big fake smile and turned her back to Cid. "Then we shouldn't have any problems," she slowly walked back towards the hidden staircase, descending to the room where Shadow was still laid out.

Celes ran straight up to Cid. "Why didn't you let me stop her?!" she demanded, her fists clenched. I decided to stay out of this one too. Not like anyone had listened to me anyway.

Cid took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Celes, you lack perspective on the whole picture. You only know one side of me, the side I showed you."

"Grandad. I know you've done some less than honorable things but-"

"'Less than honorable' can't even begin to capture the magnitude of it Celes. Like what I did to you for instance," Cid replied.

Celes looked at Cid in abject disbelief, even smiling as though he were joking. "Grandad whatever are you talking-"

"I had no way of knowing if the Magitek infusion process was perfected or not without a human guinea pig. Kefka was a failure but I theorized that a child might take to it better. There was a very real possibility you could have been driven mad," Cid shrugged "or even died." Celes went dead quiet. "I only came to care about you as a human being after the fact and by then it was too late, I had already forced you into becoming a Magitek Knight. You went along with it in the first place because you wanted to please me, wanted my approval. I manipulated you." Cid explained.

Celes took a step back from her Grandad in horror and disbelief but I knew her well enough to understand the gears were turning in her head. She knew Cid was speaking the truth, as did I.

"And all of that is absolutely nothing compared to what I did to Terra," Cid continued speaking and lowered his head in shame. "I don't deserve to be called Grand-"

Celes lunged forward and threw her arms around Cid in a tight hug nearly knocking her Granddad to the floor. "Shut up," Celes choked out as tears rained down her cheeks onto Cid's shoulder. "Not another word."

"But Celes I-"

"I DON'T CARE!" Celes shrieked and hugged Cid tighter. "So you've done some fucked up things," Celes spoke while tears continued streaming from her face, "things that you regret." Celes sniffled "well so have I," Celes paused to sniffle once more "I've killed civilians in cold blood, cut down young men barely old enough to hold their swords who were guilty of only defending their homes." Celes continued crying. "So if that makes you shit, then that means I'm shit too and we can be shit together!"

I wanted to comfort Celes, I wanted so badly in this moment to tell her she wasn't shit but I didn't want to impose myself upon this moment she was sharing with her Granddad.

"So please," Celes was absolutely bawling by this point. "No more negative words about yourself."

"I-" Cid began as though he were about to argue with her but then thought better of it. "Alright my dear," Cid returned the embrace. "Not another ill-spoken word."

. . . . _**Change in scene**_ . . . .

Finally, after _all_ that unpleasantness we were back on the Falcon. Sabin, Edgar, Cyan and Umaro 'under Mog's direction of course', had managed to move Shadow and Cid's bed to Setzer's private room, much to the gambler's annoyance. Originally he was going to put Shadow in the engine room but Terra begged and, well, Setzer has something of a hard time telling women in general, 'no'.

The atmosphere on the Falcon was festive and jovial; a welcome break from all of the tensions that rose practically out of nowhere back down on the Solitary Island. I wanted to get my mind off of all that crap, and I assumed Celes did as well. Fortunately, the company of good friends and the introduction of fine brews and spirits from Setzer's 'private reserve' were going quite a long ways towards easing my tensions. Myself, Celes, Edgar, Sabin, Mog and Setzer were all seated around what Setzer had dubbed 'The Makeshift Dealer's Table' waiting for him to deal the first hand.

"I can't believe you bought this overpriced bottle of crap!" Mog whined at Setzer in his high-pitched chipmunk like voice, examining the wine Setzer brought up.

I snickered. This was going to be good.

Setzer looked up from shuffling the deck and tsked at the obnoxious Moogle sitting across from him. "Overpriced crap? Yeah okay. That's why it's won 'Best of Show' at the annual wine expo. twelve years straight. You don't know what you're talking about," Setzer retorted in an annoyed tone of voice.

As a beer and whiskey man myself I had no real stake in that argument. But watching the two of them go back and forth like this was fun nonetheless.

"Oh gee, a Jidorian wine consistently winning 'best of show' at an annual event held in Jidoor and primarily funded through Jidorian vineyards. That's _gotta_ be legit!" Mog fired back with pure sarcasm.

"Fine then! If you're gonna be a baby about it, don't drink it," Setzer motioned to take the bottle from him.

"I'll drink it, I'll drink it" Mog held one hand up towards Setzer and filled his glass with the other.

"Damn right you will. Ungrateful furry bastard," Setzer grumbled.

I gave a laugh and took a sip from my tumbler of Kohl whiskey. "Well, at least there's no debate over the king of spirits, eh boys?" I chided while eying Edgar mischievously, knowing him to be a gin man. Edgar simply rolled his eyes at me, sipping from his tall glass of gin and tonic.

"Will you just hurry up and deal already?" Sabin asked Setzer impatiently as he poured himself more Figaronian cider from a decorative carafe bearing the Royal Emblem of Figaro; a perched golden pheasant on a royal blue background.

I eyed Sabin's choice of beverage with a small measure of disgust as Setzer started dealing the hand. "I hope you realize that cloying sweet concoction you folks over in Figaro make is in no way proper cider," I spoke disdainfully.

Sabin shrugged at me, "I like it alright."

I sipped from my tumbler. "You need to have yourself a proper Kohlingen farmhouse scrumpy. That's real cider."

Sabin made a face at me. "That stuff is so dry and tart."

"Well, your palette is unrefined," I grumbled and Celes immediately started cracking up. "Is something funny?" I turned to her.

Celes let out another laugh. "It's just that they complain about wine drinkers being snobby and here you are acting all," Celes turned her nose up in an exaggerated fashion and pinched its tip, "your palette is unrefined." She spoke in a mock-formal tone.

"Ha! She's got a point Locke," Setzer added as he finished dealing out. I grumbled to myself and checked my two pocket cards; seven of clubs and a two of diamonds with a ten of spades showing, I didn't have shit. I looked around at the others and the only showing cards of note were Setzer who was showing an Ace of Diamonds, Sabin with a Queen of Hearts and Celes with an Ace of Spades.

"I raise," Setzer threw some more Gil on the table.

"I fold," I threw my cards down on the table and Mog and Edgar followed suit leaving only Setzer, Sabin and Celes in the game.

"I call," Celes sipped her wine and matched Setzer's raise.

"Same here," Sabin followed suit and took a large gulp from his cider.

The three of them repeated this process as Setzer continued dealing, and eventually folded himself leaving only Sabin and Celes playing the hand.

"Setzer, be a dear and fill me up will you?" Celes raised her glass and gave it a shake.

Setzer raised an eyebrow at Celes. "I bought the stuff. Pour it your damned self."

Celes pouted at Setzer. "Awwe, I thought I was 'even more stunning than Maria'" Celes flipped her bangs in a showoff-y manner.

Setzer narrowed his eyes at Celes then gave a relenting sigh. "Fine." He took Celes' glass and refilled it, handing it back to her.

"You're a dear," Celes accepted the glass gingerly, grinning as she did. It seemed that once  
>Celes had a few glasses in her she became something of a flirt. I was uncomfortable with this. "Alright Sabin you show yours then I show you mine," Celes said with a wink. Yeah. I was <em>definitely<em> uncomfortable with this.

Sabin, with Celes' provocative words, flying right over his head, slapped his cards down on the table with earnest. "Four Queens! Read em and-"

"Straight flush," Celes laid out her hand and Sabin's jaw practically dropped down to the table.

"Damn!" Setzer exclaimed. "I thought a you were holding a full house, at most. There's a gambler in you yet," he added with a wry smirk.

Sabin let out a heavy sigh and began sliding the pot to Celes before she put her hand up and stopped him "I don't want the Gil," she said with a shake of her head. Sabin looked back at her confusedly, "listen, we all have a shit-ton of Gil from this adventure and we just kinda saved the world, I _really_ doubt Gil is going to be an issue for any of us," Celes elaborated.

"Then what're you suggesting?" Setzer piqued a curious brow.

"Something a littlemore interesting," Celes gave Sabin a nudge in the ribs. "Take your shirt off big man."

Edgar immediately started cracking up hysterically as Setzer gave a quiet chuckle and shook his head. "Man, we gotta get booze in you more often Celes," Setzer added.

I was struggling not to scowl; I found this all considerably less amusing.

Sabin looked at Celes with this blank, dumbfounded stare. "Come on," Celes nudged him again "I've always wanted to see those pecs without the muscle shirt."

My blood was boiling underneath a barely contained surface. What the fuck was she playing at? Celes knew how I felt about her...didn't she? I mean, I've never outright said it, but, come on. She knows. She has to know.

Sabin looked around then gave a shrug. "Eh, fuckit. Sure, alright." And with that Sabin lifted his shirt thus baring the rippling, cut musculature of his chest and abdomen.

Celes gave a jolly laugh and a whistle as she eyed Sabin's physique with eyes that any idiot would know contained a fair amount of lust.

Setzer sighed. "I guess if that's your type I never stood a chance." He rolled up his sleeve to display one of his thin, ghost pale arms.

Celes laughed again. She seemed to be enjoying the attention. "Sorry Setzer, I like my men really strong!" She gave Sabin's arm a squeeze. "Damn! It's like a rock!"

"All right that's enough!" I shouted angrily and slammed my tumbler on the table. I was putting a stop to this, right fucking now. I grabbed Celes under the arm and lifted her from her seat. She offered up little resistance as I dragged her from the table, up the stairs, and to a secluded corner of the airship. Spinning her around to face me I shouted, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"

Celes stared back at me with unapologetic eyes. "Just having a bit of fun, he's an attractive man."

"Well I don't appreciate it!" I retorted angrily

Celes took a step closer, her eyes still fierce and unapologetic, her body language unmistakably sexual. "You know Locke, if you don't like me flirting with other men maybe you should do something about it," she challenged.

"What? You want me to start a fight with Sabin?"

Celes raised her palm to her head. "No, you dumbass, that's not at all what I mean."

"Then what is it?!" I demanded.

Celes gave a frustrated sigh. "Well, what's it to you who I flirt with?"

"You know _damn_ well what it is to me!" I retorted, still enraged.

"Actually Locke, no. No I don't." Celes folded her arms and kept her gaze locked with mine. "Why don't you tell me?"

I became dead silent at that. I couldn't form the words, I could hardly think. With that single sentence, that single statement, she had completely shifted me to the defensive.

"Are you afraid that if you say it I'll die like Rachel did?" Celes asked pointedly.

A bolt of fear ripped through my heart. She was right. I was downright terrified of that exact thing.

"And that you'll just be alone again?" Celes continued pressing but there was now a softness to her eyes that wasn't there previously.

"I...I...I" I stammered, my whole body trembling.

Celes gently took my hand, "Locke, please don't be afraid."

I looked deeply into her crystal clear blue eyes. How much I wanted to say it. How much I wanted to- _BUT WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS?!_ My own mind stopped my train of thought. T_here's no more magic! If something bad happens you'll be even more powerless! What if she falls down a mineshaft! What if she becomes fatally ill! What if she's murdered! What if you're not there! What if-"_

"Locke, please..." Celes uttered and squeezed my hand tightly, her head was bowed.

"I...I..." _Oh dear Gods, if you say it that makes it real and if it's real then that means you can just be hurt again and why wouldn't you? You deserve to be hurt you failure of a-_

"I love you," I fought through the bickering demons of my mind and just said it.

Celes turned her eyes up towards me, tears were streaming down her cheeks and a big smile graced her face. "I love you too," she uttered.

I threw my arms around her and we embraced more tightly and intimately than we ever had before.


End file.
